My friends daughter died a few years ago and her birthday is close by. Would it be appropriate ....?

for me to send a card......or flowers.....or just leave her to her private memories. It is still so incredibly raw and I dont want to contribute to setting her back into the depression she suffered at that time. Its an incredibly sensitive time and I dont know what to do. Any suggestions?

My friends daughter died a few years ago and her birthday is close by. Would it be appropriate ....?
A sympathetic card with your heart felt feelings would not be amiss.


Keep it short but with your true fellings for your friend.
Reply:I think it depends on the family - maybe talk to her other friends and you could just send one simple bouquet of flowers together, just to let her know you were thinking about her. Then it doesn't look too much. Cards are always a bit tricky to pick and write.


Hope it all works out ok x
Reply:Take your freind some flowers,say the day before. A card might upset her more than you think.
Reply:mbe call round on d day. see if she is coping alright.
Reply:No card, but maybe a small bouquet of flowers. Thats what people would do for my grandmother.
Reply:Having lost close family members myself, I would say tht it would be very kind to send a note indicating that you remember and cherish the memories of your friend's daughter. Sometimes the hardest part of grieving is thinking that your loved one has been forgotten. I think you should consider sending a note saying that you know that this might be a difficult day for your friend, but that you hope she will be comforted by the wonderful memories of her daughter and the fact that she has friends who care and remember her loss.
Reply:i wouldn't send flowers or cards aimed towards the daughter's birthday, but i would send them to the friend with a note telling her that you're thinking about her on what must be a terribly hard day. remind her that you're there for her and if she doesn't acknowlege them then that's ok too.. she might be too shell shocked..
Reply:My sister lost her 13 year old son 14 years ago %26amp; all family %26amp; close friends send flowers to mark his birthday, and the day he died - she finds comfort to know that everybody is thinking of him. I don't know if it may be too soon for your friend, but feel that she couldn't be offended at what would be a heartfelt gesture on your part. Hope you find the right decision, (and rest in peace Anthony).
Reply:I feel that pretending it did not happen is the worse thing you can do!





How many people walk past a widow/widower or hide rather than 'upset' them by asking how they are coping?





NOTHING would upset me more than a death of my loved one! I would love to know that they were NOT forgotten by everyone but me.





In our culture we EXPECT people to get over death and fast!





I feel that you are a wonderful friend and you know your Friend better than any of us here do!





If it was me I would be VERY pleased with your kind gesture.
Reply:How about calling round at your friend's house personally with a bunch of flowers just to re-assure her that you are her friend and still care about her and will be there for her should she want to talk to some-one about her feelings regarding the loss of her daughter. Sometimes, it takes people a long period of time to be able to talk about a very close loss. Whilst you are there, what about suggesting you meet up for coffee and have an hour shopping together ?
Reply:I say you should leave it alone, it is good that you do care, and some friends don't have that big of a heart, but I think you should ask her if she wants to talk to you about anything, maybe memories or anything.
Reply:i like the idea of anonymous flowers, something small and tasteful, and delicate.
Reply:if they are not gonna do anything for her birthday like buy a present you should contribute at all NO no
Reply:Why not give her a call on that day or the evening before to let her know you're thinking about her? Maybe you could take her to lunch or invite her over to give her a chance to celebrate the day quietly - whatever she wants. No, don't leave her alone. At the very least, let her know you're there.
Reply:Maybe send a card saying "thinking of you and always here for you".


I'm sure she'd appreciate that you cared enough to think of her on that particular sad day.
Reply:i think that you should buy flowers and take them to her grave.. i mean if you really care... but not sure how they will react them do something special and nice by taking them to her grave.



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