He forgot about our anniversary, Valentine's Day, my birthday, and now..?

My boyfriend of three years forgot our second anniversary. Valentine%26#039;s day of that year, I got a call around 10pm, when I was crying my eyes out. He didn%26#039;t say %26quot;Happy Birthday%26quot; until we were in bed at 11:30pm and I started to cry. Christmas I got a neck pillow in front of my family. Now, it%26#039;s our third anniversary and I got a call around 6pm with a Happy Anniversary. I sent him flowers and a balloon. We%26#039;re young, 21 %26amp; 23. Now we have a long distance relationship because he got out of the army and had to go back home to get back into the norm of civilian life.





I%26#039;m really upset that he keeps downplaying these days that are important to me. I always make his days special. When he had 6 months and 3 months left in the Army, I made him cakes and took him out. We%26#039;re getting engaged soon. Am I just setting myself up for a %26#039;forgetful%26#039; marriage?





He knows these days are important to me. However, he acts like I%26#039;m the one overreacting when I get upset. Wouldn%26#039;t any girl be devestated?

He forgot about our anniversary, Valentine%26#039;s Day, my birthday, and now..?
You see how he is going to be, and you probably can%26#039;t change him; either accept him that way or dump him and look for somebody that%26#039;s more sensitive and romantic.
Reply:I would be upset about the birthday. If it was a wedding anniversary I would be hurt as well. I personally would make it clear to him that you are seriously hurt over these things and that you need him to make more of an effort. There are a lot of ways he can remind himself of those days that are special to you. He should put in some effort. This could very well be your future if something doesn%26#039;t change. Give him a chance though. He may never match you in thoughtfulness, but he could make some better steps.
Reply:yes your in the right they are important days and if he does not see it that way now what makes you think he will once your married
Reply:Guys are bad with remembering dates. I have forgotten my own birthday before.





If it is that important to you, then you might want to find someone else. Either that, or learn to accept it. It sounds like he is not going to change.
Reply:NO you%26#039;re not overreacting.





If he knows these days are important to you and STILL don%26#039;t care about them, you really should reconsider marrying him. He either has the WORST memory in the world, is the most INSENSITIVE man in the world or down right doesn%26#039;t care about you like you should be cared for. Talk to him and see whats his explanation. If he continues to do this to you, kick him to the curb and find someone who will take the time to pay attention to you =) GOOD LUCK!
Reply:Some men are just like that. they dont remember anything or they just dont put any importance on it. This is probably not someone you would want to share your life with since he seems insenitive to your needs.
Reply:You know that he forgets, so remind him. Stop waiting for him to be like all the boyfriends you see in movies - that%26#039;s not how it is. Does he show affection on other days? If yes, be happy with what you have. He remembered the third at all, so that%26#039;s progress. E-mail him the night before to remind him the next day is whatever occasion. Better to have a significant other who remembers you on Tuesdays than someone who remembers you ONLY on Valentine%26#039;s Day, whatever. He called at all, even though he didn%26#039;t remember it was a holiday. Call him on those days, and wish him a happy Valentine%26#039;s Day if it%26#039;s that important to you.
Reply:yes he sounds like a bum
Reply:Please, you are dealing with a military man so this comes with the territory.





If you need to be coddled, then you might want to avoid policeman and military men.
Reply:if acts this way now hell act this way later. if its important to you that he remembers these days you need to tell him, and remind him.





Hey honey my birthday is coming up are we doing anything? are you sending me anythign ect..





My boyfriend is the same way and because i didnt want to lose my vday this year i reminded him it was coming up and have asked him 2 times what we were doing. He said he hasnt decided yet but we%26#039;re def doing something.





Try telling him its important and remind him, he may need it
Reply:just dump him
Reply:i say talk to him let your feelings be known and if he doesn%26#039;t respect that then you need to move on because it will not change after the wedding so why set your self up for more heart breaks and disappointments.? the answer is right there in front of you and well have to say it too he might bethinking other things and in not into that much any more.. he%26#039;s back home after being in the army and well he may be rekindling old friendships and that may mean old girl friends as well..
Reply:Yes and no. I agree with you that it really is upsetting that he continually forgets about days that are very important to you. there%26#039;s just something wonderful about being with a guy who goes out of his way for an opportunity to let you know he loves you and appreciates you. That said, some girls can be more sensitive about these things that guys (and vice versa).





It sounds like you have talked about the issue, so I don%26#039;t want to be redundant and suggest it again. I guess I would evaluate the relationship as a whole. if he a really selfish, careless guy and it seems like he is forgetting this stuff because it just doesn%26#039;t matter to him how you feel, I%26#039;d say you have a big problem!





But if he really is a loving boyfriend and he does try to make you feel special in general, it might be one of those thing you will have to keep discussing and working on over the course of your relationship. If this is the case, he%26#039;s probably not doing it to be a jerk, he just genuinly forgot.





Either way, it looks like it definitly might be something you have to deal with throughout your marriage. I guess you have to decide if he%26#039;s worth it. If he is something really special, I would suggest hangin in there, talking some more, and trying to work something out.





If this behavior is just an extension of an already selffish, insensitive personality, I would seriously consider if you want to be with this guy for the rest of your life.





Good luck with whatever happens! Remember you are a very special girl and you deserve to be with someone who really cares about it, but it this guy or someone else.
Reply:u could tell him how important this is to u, and also i think u are over reacting a little bit, cakes for 3 months left? please
Reply:yes I think any girl would be devastated I%26#039;m a guy and I am one of the few that treats the girls even more on those days you girls have to put up with I lot from us guys.I do not think you 2 should get married, hello!!!!!!! neck pillow for xmass there is plenty of us good guys out there just be patient you are only 21 keep your head up keep smiling all the best
Reply:Yes, if I were in your shoes, I would surely be devastated.
Reply:get rid of him.


thats so rude.




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