How would you feel?

If working in a department of 3 (all three are women) with one being the boss.





How would you feel if your boss bought birthday flowers for the coworker and 4 months ago bought nothing to you or even said happy b-day?

How would you feel?
I'd feel like she was playing favorites and wasn't very professional. It's an indication of things to come. You might want to start looking for another job.
Reply:I'd think "who cares". Flowers die.





But now, if the boss looked over me for a promotion that I deserved and the other girl didn't, or if she gave the other girl time off and not me, something like that, then we'd have us a serious problem on our hands.
Reply:I'd feel a little hurt but wouldn't take it too personal. I agree maybe she didn't know it was your birthday. I would probably just make a light hearted joke and say. "What no flowers for me?" But I would make sure I only say it if I know my boss well and she wouldn't be offended. This way if she didn't know, she will probably tell you or it will be a polite way of pointing out that you don't feel she should be showing favorites.


If they are friends outside of the office then those things should stay outside of the office (since one is a supervisor and it shows favoritism).
Reply:I'd notice that, too! It is rude, but maybe they are reallllly close -- like closer than you could imagine. Just hold your head up high, ignore it, don't say a thing, and you'll be above that behavior, and they won't even know it bothered you. That's the professional way of brushing off crap. You go girl!
Reply:i would feel horrible!!! It must be that the boss doesnt like you.


But you should get over it and move on. Maby the boss doesnt know you that well and is close to the other person.
Reply:It's tacky on the part of the boss - when you manage others, you can't have favorite children or you create exactly what is happening here - the perception that some employees are more special than others.





You could make a joke about it to let her know that you noticed ("Hey, what do I have to do to earn flowers on MY birthday?"), or you could just let it go. Other people's rudeness is not your problem.





BTW - happy belated birthday! :)
Reply:First, does she know when your birthday is? This sounds pretty basic, but with all the stuff that cannot be asked anymore without offending someone, its possible they aren't aware of it.





Second, did you do anything for their birthdays? Many times its sort of a thing that people only do to reciprocate what has been done for them.





That being said, I understand what its like to be the forgotton one. I worked for five years at a company of about 25 people, very close knit group, and we celebrated everything. I am a cake baker, so I would bake for everyone, but in those five years, no one ever did this for me. It was pretty hurtful, because they did know when my birthday was, because it was the same as another person in the office and it was usually around when I took a vacation. This shunning was part of the reason I didn't like working there. Afterward, everyone said they never baked me a cake because mine were so nice they were afraid to try! Its hard to take personal rejection, but your job isn't a social club, and if its a good job, then try to concentrate on other things. If this is still bothering you four months later, you are really holding onto some bitter feelings that are affecting your health. Try to just let it go. If you really really really want a birthday cake next year, just ask now if you can institute a regular birthday party for all employees to boost morale. Then it won't seem like you are just doing it for yourself.
Reply:I'll be OK, not all people are obligated to notice you on a personal level specially if you are co-workers but not Friends, maybe the other lady is more friends wit her, but definitely I wouldn't care, it would hurt me if it was my best friend the one that didn't say anything. Good luck, Cheer Up! :)
Reply:I would be very upset. But does the boss know when your birthday is. Your boss is in the wrong but why don't you speak to your co-worker who got the flowers and ask her how the boss knew her birthday.
Reply:I'd be hurt but I'd get over it....maybe they are closer friends outside of work? Maybe she didn't know it was your Birthday?



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